Match will reach half time nil nil. Both sides will be have used 2 subs each, all the withdrawn suffering with a virulent strain of “man” Flu. Neither side manage a shot on goal in a match largely played out in the centre circle as the players try to keep warm.
Whilst sharing a half time pint, Darren Ferguson agrees 6 mins of Fergie time with the ref at half time for the end of the game. This will prove significant.
The clock hits 90 mins with the score 0-0 with still no shots on goal. Most of the fans have left when Donny race into a 3-0 lead with goals in the 91st, 92nd and 93rd mins. Edwards OG, Sonny OG and a Donny throw in deflected in off the ref. Still no shots registered. The 3 remaining Donny fans unveil a giant “Toum”stone in a topical poke at our prized asset which enrages Derek, who enters the stand to dish out a Glasgee kiss or two.
Brewster goes to restrain him, in the melee Wottsy takes over and accidentally brings on Gaz Miller as a striker. Miller then scores the quickest ever hat trick with a chip, a chop (looked handball to me) and his old chap in the 94th, 95th and 96th mins.
Controversy reigns when Fergie claims the final goal shouldn’t count due to its offensive nature.
Match ends 3-3 and Derek proclaims his tactics while Fergue bemoans the Fergie time.